i dunno...

i dunno,

wats wrong with me these few things...

i dunno,

wats happening...

i dunno,

wat i wanted...

i dunno,

wats the purpose of my life...

i dunno,

y am i doing this to u...

i dunno,

y am i hurting u again and again...

wat happen to me??

i dunno y just now i feel like breaking up...

mayb cause i know im not the one for him...

and im not good enough for him...

im sorry to disappoint u...

im sorry i cant b like MT.....

im sorry that u were stucked here with me...

im sorry for everything...

bored

its been one month sem break for me...

its so bored...

i got nothing to do...

and dunno wat to do...

wanted to go out...

but dunno go where...

wanted to yumcha...

but dunno with who...

wat a boring sem break!!!!

lonely in kl

currently im single in kl..

cause me the other half when back to penang...

he went back yesterday morning...

yesterday night we still sms...

but today we onli sms-ed few....

just now i sms-ed him and he say he is very messed up...

and will sms me later...

until 10 something im worried bout him..

so i sms-ed him..

and i ask are u ok?? is everything ok??

he onli answered one word...

OK

my heart was fallen into pieces....

i dont know where he is...

or wat is he doing...

or being with who....

sometimes i hate that he went back to penang...

but wat can i say...

our relationship is getting far apart more compare to last time...

mayb i shudnt care much....

sometimes i really felt like breaking up...

im tired being like this...

im really tired...

yes i know that he do loves me...

but sometimes he show me that he dont care much about us...

so y am i dragging this relationship???

1 day trip in klang valley = )

first of all, we went to aeroline terminal..

at opposite klcc..

to buy calvin's bus ticket back to penang...

then we head to imbi market...

to have out breakfast...

it was soooo the freaking packed...

then we went to times square....

when we reached we got no where to go...

so tot of watch movie...

the queue is soooooooooooooooooo long...

so tak jadi la...

then went to sing k!!!

sing, sing, sing, sing n sing

after half and hour....

ttteeekkkkk

no electric... we have to entertain ourselves...

hahaha.... no electricity for around 15 minutes i guess...

then after that we were informed to change the room...

after singing for 2 songs then we ask for other room..

cause the pa system SUCKS!!

then we went to the 3rd room....

then we makan... mana tau the chicken wing got prob....

so we have to order again....

after sing k, we went to search for calvin's clothes....

then we walk around...

he go test, test, test and test...

cant find the slack pants...

so we went to midvalley....

we reached we went to gurdian, to find his fren..

then to topman to find his other fren...

then to sub...

he tried a slack and taaaaddddaaaa....

it suits him very well...

so we balik....

we went to the car...

semangat nak balik rumah....

keluar.... the exit seems very different...

mana tau sampai flyover, we are at bangsar.....

so cari la jalan to go back....

then we went to the outer part of bangsar village....

then jalan2...

we found the way out....

then i go and ikut the traffic lights...

mana tau, we reached brickfields....

then we just lalu there....

and luckily we were back to midvalley ring road....

then send both of my daugthers back to my daughter's house....

then send calvin back to angkasa...

and i went home....

so this is our 1 day trip after the trip to sunway lagoon was cancelled!!

= P

working while studying

i planned to work a part time job...

n i will start working on january...

but my family doesnt seems to allow me to work...

but they never understand y i wanted to work..

today my sis jus scolded me..

cause i explained y i dont wan to ask for money from her...

n i explained in a wrong way i think...

i told her that i dont like to ask money from ppl...

actually my sis is helping one of my uncle who is not working...

she is help him to pay for his car monthly...

she is very helpful in my family..

she did bought alot of things for me...

i tot of working then i can stop using her money..

and she can help my uncle more...

but the msg in mind wasnt send to her in a correct way...

i wanted to tell her this but i think i say it in a rude way...

which made her angry at me...

she said that the more i grow its harder for her to teach me...

the problem is she didnt know wat is the objective of me working...

the objective is i dont wan her to think of me anymore..

i wanted to b like her when she was young...

she come out n work...

be independent...

the second main objective is even though i apply for ptptn...

the money from them isnt enough for my whole course...

so i tot of working then save money...

then i can pay for it...

if its not enough from ptptn...

and lastly if i need to buy anything that i like...

i can use my own money to buy it...

too bad those three objective wont happen i guess...

i guess it will happen during internship le...

but i guess we wont have much pay from the company..

when she scold me just now...

i didnt explain to her this...

cause i dont wan to argue...

once we made someone who is mad...

watever u said it wont b correct...

so i guess i have to write this blog to tell wat im thinking now..

im sorry sis...

lurve

ppl always ask that wat is LOVE??

i used to know the feeling of love....

but now a days,

i think the feeling have flown away...

do i love my bf??

i think i do...

i care about him...

but wat is the feeling of love again...

do i love my family??

of cause...

cause they are my family [duh!]

but again, what is the feeling of love???

do i love my frens??

yes i think..

cause i do care about them...

but do they??

for this holiday...

i've been alone for few days...

i dont feel the love from them anymore...

what should i do to feel the love again??

should insist to make sure to be loved???

or shud i stand on my own feet,

and forget about the feeling??

all of a sudden..

im moody...

is life pointless??

aimless??

or its useless??

im very confused...

what is the goal/aim of my life???

can i live without love??

can i b on my own???