because of jealousy

today i cried again...
sorry ah lui i just cant control my feelings...
but today i cried in my bathroom...
i controlled my feelings when im in uni...
its hard to control it...
onli 1 way to control it..
thats by laughing...
i laugh as loud as i could...
to forget my sadness...
i was sad cause i just argued with him...
because of my jealousy...
im jealous cause we got nothing to talk to each other...
but with others, he talk a lot...
after lunch he was walking with my fren and talking....
he was saying, "can i dont go to class?"
he talked to me like that without calling my name....
i just kept quiet and continue my walking....
suddenly he said, "hello?!"
then i knew he was talking to me and i shouted, "none of my business!!!!!"
he came to me and ask why...
and i said nothing...
then we all continue our walking to class...
i was pissed....
then i walk as fast as i could then he pull my bag...
then i said, "stop pulling my bag!"
then he ask me y again...
i took back my bottle cause he was holding it b4 that...
and i continue my walking...
i walk as fast as i could...
but theres a lot of ppl in block b...
then i heard him saying, "its hard to b a human"
then theres tears in my eyes...
i hold it then he was chasing me....
he talked to me...
i dont answered him....
until 2nd level he stop and when to his class..
then i went to audi to attend my class...
after awhile being bored...
i asked my twin whether she wan to buy anything or not...
i saw him walking to the hostel...
i didnt call him...
i pretend that i didnt saw him...
i buy rm 1 chewing gums at the aunty's shop...
then when my twin was waiting for the copy of econs note...
i went to sit in front of the book shop...
and then i saw him again....
walking pass in front of me....
i was thinking is it over between us...
is it he will have a better life without me...
is it he is more suitable with her...
is it god said its time for us to be apart.....
he is a good guy...
a good bf...
a good son...
im not a good girl....
not a good gf...
not a good daughter....
she is a good girl....
a better gf for him...
a good daughter....
few weeks ago he ask me to give 10 reasons y i said she is better than me....
and now im gonna stated it here....

1. she is a polite girl...
2. she is a very good friend...
3. she know how to talk mandrin...
4. it was my obstacle for me being close with them cause i dont know how to speak mandrin..
5. she courage him to read books...
6. when he was sad, she know how to cheer him up...
7. she know how to comfort her frens...
8. she know how talk to him when he is sad...
9. she is not rough as me....
10. i think she is better than me.....